Judgement Day

Thanks for the omnioxious commercial that plays in my head over and over.
Peanut Butter Jelly Time:

 Maybe it is because all I watch on TV is usually a child friendly channel or maybe it is because my son jayson eats about 4 peanuts butter sandwiches a day. Jayson only eats about 10 foods. This is an improvement. The list used to only consist of four items. I am in big trouble if I run out of these staples. If I run out of peanut butter than Jayson will have a full meltdown.


Jayson has Sensory Integration Disorder. He is sensitive to food, noise and needs to touch everything.
With the help of occupational therapy and a "sensory diet", we have learned to help regulate Jayson. It works at times but other times it is too late than the meltdown begins.

When we go into a store and something sets him off we leave. But before getting to the door sometimes I get stares, comments, and looks of disgust. Please don't assume that a child is having a tantrum or is just a "brat". What autism has taught me is not to judge so quickly.

I don't just cater to his wants or spoil him. I try to accommodate so he will be able to function and learn. It's something his siblings have even learned.  But why are there people who automatically judge and tell others their opinions. This goes deeper than just parenting.  I have others judge me through the years thinking I am something I am not. I may not explain myself,  but that does not mean your opinions are right.  It may mean that I don't feel comfortable explaining.

A quick graphic on the difference between an Autism Meltdown and Tantrum, click here for a nice video on the topic.

I asked everyone to step back from a situation and do not easily judge.  If you see someone struggling, it maybe nice to ask if they need help.  That help could mean the world.  I had a dear friend, Claudia, who befriended me years ago.  She understood that there were circumstances that had me at the place I was.  She didn't judge me but loved me and supported me.  Unfortunately, my dear friend passed away this year. I regret that I never got to tell her how much I appreciated that. I miss her dearly and I strive to be a better person.

Stressed with Autism

I knew something was wrong at around 18 months. I mention something to the pediatrician at Jayson's well check. She blew off the lack of talking because he had four other siblings and were probably doing the speaking for him. She blew off his meltdowns as starting the terrible twos early. I knew something was not right. You know when you get that feeling in the pit of your stomach that something is not right?

Jayson was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder by his second birthday. I knew it was going to be a tough journey, but never thought it would get even harder 2 1/2 years later. Jayson is almost stuck at the age of two. He has just as many melt downs, still is not potty trained, still can't sleep through the night, and he has a limited schedule and diet. He receives intervention several times a week and I quit my career to stay home. But with that said, he seems still at the same place were we started. You can imagine how discouraged my husband and I are.

Jayson plays minecraft but cant use the potty!

We do not receive respite care . My husband and I seem to be just getting by. We are both physically and emotionally exhausted.  On top of that I have a lot of guilt for the other children because I am stretch so thin and I am not able to attend or give them the attention that I want to.

Two studies that were published in the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders reported that Mothers with children with autism had comparable stress as a combat solider. Other research indicates that parents of children with autism experience greater stress than parents of children with MR or Downs Syndrome (Holroyd & MacArthur 1976; Donovan 1988).

Okay, now I don't feel as much as a wimp than I thought I was. This research does validate my feelings but it still does not help reduce it. There needs to be more ways to help families like our selves in reducing stress.

My husband and I have been trying to get creative as far as stress relief. I have started to run again, we are eating healthier, I am writing... and I pray. But what else is there besides handing him over to a stranger in respite care (which is not an option)?

Dear Lord please help our family and the much needed rest we need.  I pray for our children that they will find comfort in you.  I pray for Jayson. My heart aches that he is consistently in distress. Lord only you know what we are dealing with and I ask for your grace.  Amen.

Service Dogs for Autism?

While no silver bullet exists in terms of medication, therapy or other resources to cure or treat autism, Service Dogs seem like an intriguing option.

Granted, our Shih Tzu Jake doesn't count as a service dog by any stretch, but there are times when Jayson gets uncontrollably upset and Jake seems to have a calming effect on him. This is a fleeting situation, but you can see and experience in that sliver in time where the primal K-9/child connection seems to almost override the chaos of the moment.  A study published in the Western Journal of Nursing might have proved the effects of interacting with dogs on children with autism spectrum disorders.  What they found was a dog put that child in a better mood and more aware of their surroundings than a stuffed animal and other objects.

Jayson and Jake running out in the street completely unattended

In addition those flickers in time, Jake does put up with Jayson's generally rough and unrelenting hugs and kisses. Jake's basically a saint and, to be honest, Jayson probably should be covered in terrible dog bites if this was a different dog.  It is almost like Jake senses that Jayson is "weaker" and he seems to tolerate a little more from him than anyone else in the family.

So these small examples got me to search the internet for service dogs ...

This service dog was only $24.60, but was unavailable for kids with autism.
Kidding aside, thanks to sadiessavior for the photo.

I found some great sites and it appears there are a number of organizations training dogs for kids with autism.  A great site to start is http://autismservicedogsofamerica.com/.  There is even a day camp where the autistic child and their service dog can attend together.  Some classrooms are incorporating the service dog during school.  Here's a cool little YouTube video to see what one therapist does with her classroom dog:

Overall, we have at least one friend that knows a bit about service dogs and we may eventually look at  getting one for Jayson ... until then, Jake will have to do :)

Our dog, rudely woken from his slumber in a cat bed.